For your Halloween edification!

Wonderful, supernatural, collective nouns.

via Joanne Casey.

Happy Halloween

Here's a few horror movies that you probably have not seen just in time for Halloween:

10) Critters (1986)

Okay, if you know me than I have probably made you sit through this Gremlins cash-in. Of all the post-Gremlins-puppet-creature-features, this was arguably the best. It features a fun mix of horror and comedy, and a ridiculously dorky Billy Zane.

9) Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)

Inferno is by far the best of the Hellraiser movies. I liked it better than the first. Part of that is because Pin-Head doesn't make much of an appearance in this one. Inferno is a dark, very dark, psychological thriller disguised as a horror movie. That's no surprise considering the script on which this sequel was based was not a Hellraiser script. Pin-Head was added later. Nevertheless, this is a surprisingly taut thriller, with surprises abound.

8) Dog Soldiers (2002)

This is a surprisingly entertaining British werewolf movie featuring solid performances from a number of young actors before they got big(ger). The film never takes itself seriously and you will have tons of fun if you take it for what it is. Director Neil Marshall would go on to direct the critical horror hit, The Descent.

7) Deathwatch

This is another straight-to-DVD British horror gem that almost got away. If you like World War One psychological horror films with a heavy dose of allegory, then this baby is for you.

6) Opera (1987)

Okay, Dario Argento is screwed up. Many of his films feature nudity from his own daughter, Asia. Nevertheless, Opera is one hell of a film (and Asia Argento is thankfully absent). Argento has always been fascinated by The Phantom of the Opera. His own cinematic version of that story was horrendous, yet Opera, an homage made several years before he got his chance to direct Phantom, is creepy and beautiful: everything Phantom should have been. It features one of the most bizarrely entertaining death scenes I have ever seen (watch for the peep-hole). I recommend Opera for that scene alone.

5) Exorcist III (1990)

This disturbing and restrained sequel was not nearly the disaster that was the first Exorcist sequel (nor the later prequels). Director and writer of the book (and the writer of the original Exorcist book), William Peter Blatty pushed for the studio to change the name, but alas, they refused and the film had a mediocre performance at the box office. Why Blatty didn't direct more horror is beyond me. He displayed a real talent in this film for capturing very simple, very terrifying moments on film. I may have liked this more than the original. There, I said it. what are you going to do about it?

4) Black Christmas (1974)

I put this one on here as an alternative to John Carpenter's Halloween. Black Christmas is the first true slasher movie. Made in 1994, the film had a typical ambiguous ending, leaving viewers to ask if Bob Clark, the director, had a sequel planned. In one interview, Clark said that, although he had no plans to direct a sequel, he did have an idea for its plot. Clark's sequel involved the Black Christmas psycho being caught and taken to a mental hospital, only to break out on Halloween and terrorize the survivor of the first movie. Four years later, John Carpenter released Halloween, and everybody forgot about this darker, superior, Canadian film.

3) Psycho II (1992)

I feel sorry for the poor bastard who was tasked with directing the sequel to Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, one of the great film masterpieces of all time. Nonetheless, if it had to be done, this is the best anyone ever could have expected. Psycho II is an unsurprisingly underrated film. It is heavy on suspense and thrills, but is also a clever character study. We catch up with Norman 20 years after the events of the original movie. He is released from the hospital, supposedly cured, and tries to settle back into life. He reopens the hotel and must deal with local townsfolk who refuse to give him a second chance. And then mother comes home. Psycho II has a brilliant final scene that rivals the finale of the original.

2) Eyes Without a Face (1960)

This old French mad-scientist film has an artsy touch. It also features some incredible make-up effects given the time period. The plot centers on a doctor who is trying hopelessly restore his daughter's face to its original beauty, after she was disfigured in a car accident. When traditional procedures fail him, he decides to try a radical new procedure: face transplantation. But where does the doctor get these new faces I wonder?

1) Cemetery Man (1994)

If you haven't seen it, see it. It's good.

Professor P

Album Review: Sarah Slean - The Baroness (2008)

Sarah Slean - The Baroness (2008)

Oh to be five years older, then I could court this fair Canadian songstress in all of her cabaret glory, especially now that her heart is finally out on her sleeve. Besides her pixie-like beauty and mystical presence, Sarah Slean is an excellent pianist and songwriter, and nowhere is that more apparent than on her 2008 exposé The Baroness.

Part autobiography, part cautionary tale on love, The Baroness is a stark musical departure from Slean’s last studio effort, the slightly bombastic Day One (2004). With Day One, Slean was able to infuse elements of rock and electronica with her signature cabaret presence, creating an incredibly enjoyable city of colorful music. However, over the next four years that city crumbled. In its ruins emerges a weathered soul, which is fiercely independent but admittedly lonely, as the ghost-like beauty of the cover art would suggest (let alone the album title’s reference of barren emptiness itself). Slean has always referenced the trials of love in her songs, but she usually channeled it through anecdotes, stories, and metaphors on a veil of bright music. Here, however, everything has been stripped, leaving only Sarah and her most personal feelings. Every song cuts deep, rolling along somber waves of bare yet organic instrumentation and production. Sarah’s piano is as haunting as her voice, and together they travel through love’s void. Occasionally, the guitar, bass, and drums chime in, but nothing ever really rocks, it just floods. While the music might not be as fun as before, it’s nonetheless arresting, like an arrow through the heart.

Lyrically, the songs range from darkly cynical to absolutely heartbreaking, such as shattering “Get Home” and the exuberant “Euphoria,” a pair of songs that tackle the schizophrenic aftermath of a one night stand (where else could you find something like that?). Slean’s cabaret spirit still exists on “Goodnight Trouble,” but it feels more like a funeral procession with horns, while “Notes From The Underground” rings to a desperate beat of ultimate loneliness. Another highlight is “Willow,” an aching ballad that provides a dependable beauty to dependable imagery. However, nothing is as all consuming or as defeating as “Shadowland,” where Sarah confesses her daemons and cries for the protection of love in a vein not all dissimilar from a somber Kate Bush armed with a piano. Fortunately, an optimistic silver lining appears with the gospel-like closing “Looking for Someone,” which is almost a too literal title, but I can’t actually believe that she needs to look for someone, I mean she had me at day one (bwahahah… *tear*).

It’s a harrowing collection, devastating at times, like a cathartic exorcism, but the warm melodies linger in a strange comforting way, as if to suggest that heartache and loneliness are just winter vistas that reoccur but never last forever (how Canadian!). In the end, Ms. Slean/The Baroness has given us a clear window to her soul, and I swear to God, if I ever find those responsible…

4/5

"I have been to the shadowland / I heard the empty call / Of hatred, anorexia / Misery and alcohol"

McS

Movie Review: 9 (2009)

9 (2009)

Now here’s a movie that really should’ve been excellent. It had a really original concept; it was based on an Oscar nominated short; it was helmed by the same director of that short; it was produced by some of Hollywood’s most creative elite; it had an impressive cast providing the character voices; and it had substantial momentum behind it. However, despite all of these assets, despite all of the buzz and hype, Shane Acker’s post-apocalyptic animated feature 9 is ultimately a disappointment.

9 attempts to tell the story about a collective of nine sentient “dolls” learning to survive in the aftermath of a world devastated by total war between man and machine. Needless to say, the machines won and the world is void of humanity (as far as we can tell). The film essentially begins with the awakening of #9 (the ninth and supposedly last doll to be created, voiced by Elijah Wood), who wastes no time in starting to decode the reasons for its existence. Almost immediately, #9 meets up with the wise #2 (Martin Landau), who only has a moment to update #9 before being captured by a larger more predatory robot made of metal and bone. #9 is eventually found by the primary collective of remaining dolls, which is led by the “god-fearing” #1 (Christopher Plummer). In an attempt to rescue #2, #9 awakens the machine boss, providing the dolls with a battle for survival for the remainder of the film. Think of the movie as an animated version of Virus (1999), set in the Desert of the Real from The Matrix (1999); just substitute the humans with dolls and pretty much keep the script the same, minus the philosophical debates…“Whoa!”

While a po-apo scenario is obviously nothing new, the concept of miniature self-aware non-human creations in a post human world seems quite interesting; however, none of that really matters as the film’s story is so poorly executed and themes so mismanaged. First of all, the film is too short; not that I wanted to keep watching it, but there was just no time for adequate character development. And that’s a problem because a film like this, with an otherwise unoriginal plot, needs to be more character driven to be successful. While the dolls are each meant to embody a shade of the human emotional spectrum, no soul comes through, and the characters remain as colorless as the world around them. This is the fault of a script that is both wooden and insufficient (in a too-much-or-not-enough kind of situation). There should have been more to it, or absolutely nothing at all (Acker’s original short had no dialogue whatsoever). The less-is-more dialogue approach has certainly worked in this vein before, just look at WALL·E (2008) and The Iron Giant (1999). It’s really no surprise then that 9’s most endearing characters are the two dolls that don’t speak (#3 and #4, who are effectively projectionist databanks). Despite all of this, the film’s true crime is in its botched story, where the various themes and philosophies contradict one another to the point of Matrix sequel pain (this is all fully realized in the film’s final quarter). Even if you don’t care about 9’s philosophical elements, you will still find the story’s resolution just plain stupid.

Visually, the film is fairly interesting, but certainly nothing revolutionary. Recently, we’ve come to expect certain visual triumphs from the animation powerhouses of Pixar and DreamWorks, and 9 can’t fully live up to that. The post apocalyptic landscape is sufficient, yet it doesn’t evoke the same sense of complete desolation that was so perfectly conveyed in WALL·E; indeed, 9 is quite claustrophobic, which would have been fine had the film not changed its philosophical course in its final third. The character design is quite original, but nothing mind-bending, which you would most certainly expect from something produced by Tim Burton. In fact, despite the initial resemblance to The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), 9 almost seems too straight for Burton fare, lacking that weird vibe that can only be described as Burton (and you all know exactly what I’m talking about). Still, the film might be too scary for little kinds and too frustrating for adults, which is most puzzling.

All in all, 9 really should have been excellent, and I find it difficult to believe that it wasn’t. It just proves that even if you have the right cooks and the right ingredients, the meal can still ultimately fail if the recipe sucks… voilà!

2.5/5

McS